Stay With Me
by Shield-Maiden-of-Sherwood
Summary: The Hero of Ferelden finally returns after she left in a hurry when she had to watch the love of her life, Alistair be crowned King of Ferelden and marries Queen Anora. Once reunited once again, Eva is faced with a difficult decision that leads to them sharing one last passion-filled night together. [Alistair/FemaleWarden] NSFW


Alistair stares out the large window of his study at some of the guards practicing in the yard, his hands folded behind him. He had been watching them on and off with little interest when Bann Teagan enters the room behind him. "Your majesty." He says. With a sigh, Alistair pulls his attention from the window to look at his old friend. "Yes Teagan?"

Teagan gives a slight bow before entering the room and strolling over to stand before his king. He walks so rapidly that Alistair frowns. "Is everything alright?"

Teagan nods and lowers his voice. "I just came to inform you that the Hero of Ferelden has returned from her campaign and has just arrived at the castle. I have made arrangements for her to stay in the guest quarters as one of our honored guests for the homecoming ball tomorrow night."

Hearing this, Alistair's heart wells up and a smile spreads across his face. "That's wonderful! Thank you so much for telling me, Teagan. I think I shall go visit her… as a welcome back."

"Very well, your majesty." Teagan chuckles with a knowing grin as Alistair quickly makes his way towards the door. Near the doorway, he pauses and look back.

"Also… let's not tell the Queen about my visit." He says. "I really don't feel like being lectured today."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Your Majesty."

* * *

As I enter my room, I'm immediately greeted by a young elf servant. She bows. "Welcome, hero of Ferelden." She greets before rising. "Lord Teagan requested I bring you some hot water to clean up after your long journey and to tell you that there are some clothes in the armoire that you may change into."

Giving the girl a smile, I nod. "Thank you. You may call me Eva." I say. "And if I may ask, what is your name?"

"Orana, my Lady." She says as she dips into a curtsy. As she does so the bucket of water she was carrying taps the floor and spills slightly. Noticing this, she blushes as she quickly stands and rushes over to the ewer and pours in the water as the steam flows out the top. I thank her and she quickly scurries from the room, shutting the door behind her.

Finding myself now alone in the large room, I take a moment to casually take off my armor and set it on top of a nearby chest. Stepping behind the privacy screen, I strip off my underclothes and use the warm water to wash off the dirt and grime from my travels. Once clean, I change into night rail and robe found in the armoire. I am about to tie the robe shut when I hear a knock on the door. Frowning, I peek around the screen. "One moment." I call as I step out from behind the screen. I quickly tie the robe and call for whoever it is to come in. As I wait, my tired mind races as I try to think of who could possibly be coming to see me at this time.

The large wooden door opens and I feel my heart flutter with happiness as our eyes meet. "Alistair." I gasp. We both smile as he pauses at the doorway to look at me. "Eva." He says, happily.

"Presenting the King of Ferelden…" The guard outside the door starts to say before Alistair waves them off.

"No need." He says, his eyes never leaving me. "You may leave us. I need to have a word with the hero."

"But your majesty…" They start to say but he quickly shuts the door behind him.

"You have no idea how annoying it is to be announced to every room I enter." He says with a smile "I enter the room to use the privy and they have to announce it to the world."

I chuckle and dip into a low curtsy. "Good evening, your majesty." I say.

As I rise he races towards me and pulls me into an embrace, crashing his lips against mine eagerly. As he kisses me, my arms wrap around his neck as he lifts me up and spins me around before setting me back down. He pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. "I have missed you." He whispers.

"I've missed you too." I say, closing my eyes. "You have no idea how much I've thought about you while I've been gone. Seems like only yesterday we were fighting side by side against the archdemon."

"It has." He mutters. "You've been gone for far too long."

He lifts his head from mine and pulls me over to the giant bed, taking a seat at the end and pulling me so I am standing before him. He tries to pull me onto his lap as he used to, but I resist. "Alistair…" I frown. He stands up and gently takes my hand.

"What's wrong?" He frowns. I want to tell him how weird it feels to sneak around and sleep with the king while his Queen is on the other side of the castle but, instead I pull him into an embrace and just hold him. My head rests on his shoulder and I close my eyes. I just need to hold him in my arms. Just one last time. He hesitates for a moment but then his arms encircle me as well and we just quietly hold each other. Once he became king and married Queen Anora, I felt like there was a vice on my heart and left the next day for a campaign to comb the rest of Ferelden for any sign of left over darkspawn. I sent him a note telling him goodbye since I was unable to face him in person. I hoped that by focusing my attention towards Grey Warden business, I could get over my broken heart. Yet over the past few months, I couldn't stop thinking about him. We had been through so much together yet once he revealed who his father was, his fate was sealed. He needed somebody by his side who could guide him and help him rule. Much to my dismay, Queen Anora was already beloved by her people and had experience ruling. I knew that no matter how I felt, Alistair had to marry her and fulfill his destiny as king.

He brushes some hair from my face and looks at me. In the months I had been gone, the fresh-faced Templar-turned-Grey Warden that I had travelled around the country and fought the blight with was now a king with stubble making him look much more rugged and handsome. "I like the facial hair." I say with a smile as I bring my hand up to touch his cheek tenderly. "It suits you."

"Do you really like it?" He smiles. "Anora says it makes me look like a dog."

My smile falters for a moment and he frowns. "I'm sorry."

Was this really what my life had come to? Being the King's mistress? I know it wasn't my fault that I had fallen in love with the next king of Fereleden and I know that I had no choice to let him marry the Queen but even knowing all this, I felt stupid for loving somebody who could never really be mine.

He sits down on the bed and once more tries to pull me on his lap and I comply. With a leg on either side of him, I straddle his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.

"How long are you back for?" He smiles. "I hope it's for a long time. After all, we're holding a ball in your honor to welcome you home."

I smile through my sadness. "Not for too long. After the ball, I need to get back to Vigil's Keep. We have new recruits…"

He frowns. "They can wait." He says stubbornly, pulling me close. He rests his forehead against mine. "I need you here. With me."

Closing my eyes, I try conceal my pained expression. "My love, I don't think that would be wise. I don't think your queen…."

He shakes his head and pulls away to look at me. "I hate being king. You knew I didn't want that. I wanted to be out fighting off darkspawn with you." He reaches up to caress my cheek. "I love you and I will always love you. I don't care about Anora."

"I know." I say with a sad smile. I feel tears well up in my eyes but try to hold them in. "And I love you too but you are Marric's last surviving heir after Cailian's passing. Ferelden needed a king and since you survived the blight, it was what had to be done."

"You could have been my Queen then and ruled at my side." He points out.

"You know I couldn't do that, my love." I say, brushing my fingertips over his richly embroidered doublet.

"Why not?" He pouts.

"Because I'm a Grey Warden just like you meaning it would be hard to produce an heir for you since we both have the taint. You even said so yourself."

"Did I?" He asks. "I didn't expect you to listen to me."

I take his face in my hands. "It doesn't matter. One of us has to rebuild the Wardens and you're busy here." I frown. "Also Anora has the experience to be a Queen…"

"She's boring though." He whines making me chuckle. "Besides, we could have learned together."

"Alistair…"

"Teagan could have helped us…" He continues.

"Alistair…." I chuckle but he continues.

"As king and queen we could have hired tutors of some sort…"  
Grabbing the front of his doublet, I pull him to me and crash my lips against his to silence him. This was all difficult as it is without him trying to convince me that a life for us was still possible. I can't be given that hope when deep down I knew it could never happen.

The kiss deepens as his hand moves down and unties my robe and opens it before his hand slides to my back, pulling me closer. He pulls away and pulls down the neckline of my night rail to expose my collarbone as he kisses down along my neck to my chest. My breathing grows ragged and I feel his arousal through his breeches. He stops for a moment to look at me. "I have wanted this and you for months…" He says in a husky whisper. He turns and lays me back on the bed before standing up to face me. Without breaking his gaze, he unbuttons and removes his doublet and undershirt and casts them aside. "Every night, I've thought about our last night together before battling the archdemon." He sits down by my legs and slides my gown off my knees, planting kisses on my kneecaps before pulling my legs slightly to kiss the inside. He looks at me. "Every day I hoped you would come back from your campaign and be in my arms once more."

He pushes my legs part further and shifts so he's between them. Slowly, his kisses travel up my inner thighs. The higher he goes, the tighter I feel myself gripping the sheets. He gets so close to the center before stopping. He looks up at me. "Stay with me." He whispers.

"What?"

He kisses the opening, sucking slightly. "Promise me you'll stay."

I let a moan. "Alistair, you know I can't."

Using his fingers, he pulls me open slightly and kisses/sucks once more. "Promise." He mutters.

My back arches in anticipation and I grip the sheets. "I…" I start to say but gasp as I feel him run his tongue along my clit. He stops as my hand runs in through his hair, making him smirk.

"I can keep this up until you promise." He teases.

"You don't know what you're asking me." I frown. "You know how much I love and desire you but you can't ask me to do this. You have your duties to your country and your Queen and I have mine to the Wardens."

Frowning, he crawls over to me and places a hand on either side of my head so we can speak directly. "I'm asking you to be with me, just like how it was supposed to be."

Touching his cheek, I feel tears well up in my eyes. "You know it can never be the way we want." I say. "You're king…"

He shakes his head. "I'll renounce my claim to the throne and then get an annulment. Anora doesn't like me and the people already love her. Let her rule on her own." He begins. "Then I'll just be Alistair the Grey Warden and we can marry." He frowns. "I don't care about being king or Anora. I want _you_ , Eva."

Just seeing his expression, I could feel my heart breaking. I wanted it all. Deep down, I wanted him renounce his claim and annul his marriage to Anora but I know that that wasn't possible. I want to be selfish but our fates have decided otherwise. I shake my head. "You can't. This is what fate has dealt to us and, Maker knows, if we had a choice, I would gladly take you up on that offer." He looks off to the side sadly. "We all knew this day would come someday, my love." I whisper. I raise my hand and gently turn his face to look at me. "If this truly is the end for us, then I just want one thing from you."

He nods. "Anything."

"Make love to me, Alistair." I whisper. "Love me one last time."

Leaning down, our lips meet and our kiss explodes into something raw and passionate. Pulling away for a moment to untie his breeches, a moan escapes from me when he enters me. His lips find mine once more and his fingers interlock with mine.

With each thrust, he trails little kisses along my jaw until I bring my hand up to his cheek and gently turn him to look at me before pulling his lips to mine. Our kisses are tender yet urgent as we move against each other. Moans escape from our lips and we cling to one another but can never seem to get close enough. When we finish, Alistair collapses on the bed beside me and pulls me to him. Our breathing is heavy as I rest my head on his chest as we lie together in bliss.

I try to enjoy the moment as I feel his fingertips grazing lightly across my bare shoulder but my thoughts are clouded with the sadness that no doubt hangs over both of us. By now, the fire has begun to dim and the candles hand burnt down. "I don't want to do this." He says. His arm tightens around me. "I don't want this to end."

"I know." I whisper. "Neither do I." I look up at him and our gazes meet. It was time.

Sitting up, I lean over him and gently caress his cheek. I lean down to kiss him for the last time. My tears make our kiss taste salty and I hesitantly pull away. Even in the dimming light of the room, I see those brown eyes I love so much. "It's time to go."

He shakes his head. "I can't."

I feel my heart shattering but I force a smile. "Yes, you can." I say. "After tomorrow that'll be it. I'll leave and we'll never see each other again."

"You make that sound like that's reassuring." He complains.

"It's supposed to be. Hopefully, the less we see each other, the quicker we can move on with our lives."

With a frustrated sigh, he rises from the bed and begins to slowly redress. "I don't want to move on." He says. "I want us to be together." He looks over at me. "Remember what you said after the first time we slept together in camp? I asked you 'what now?' and you said we stay together no matter what."

"I know." I frown. "That was before you told me who your father was."

"I really need to keep my mouth shut." He mutters.

As I watch him rebutton his doublet, I think about how he wanted me to make a promise to him. It was a promise I couldn't keep and I said we'll never see each other again but I knew that never seeing him again would destroy me. I watch him as he walks towards the door.

"Alistair." I say making him pause. He looks over at me.

"I can't promise you to stay here and be your mistress but I will make you promise of my own."

"What promise is that?" He frowns.

"When the nightmares come, I will come back to see you before I go into the deep roads." I say, a rogue tear, sliding down my cheek. "If you'll allow me, I want to see you once more before it's over."

With a heavy heart, I watch his face contort into a pained expression be he remains quiet. He nods. "Goodbye then, Eva." He says, the pain evident in his tone.

The tears begin to spill down my cheeks. "Goodbye Alistair." I say, my voice shaking softly. He nods before finally turning away and disappears out the door.


End file.
